Supply Wench, LLC (cmndrcuddles) wrote in lushes_r_us,
Supply Wench, LLC
cmndrcuddles
lushes_r_us

  • Mood:

new here

This is hilarious. My comments are in ( ) on a few of them.



THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
  • 1. Innovative

  • 2. Preliminary

  • 3. Proliferation

  • 4. Cinnamon

  • 5 Tequila ( I added this one because I can NEVER say that when I am drunk!)


  • THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
  • 1. Specifically

  • 2. British Constitution

  • 3. Passive-aggressive disorder


  • THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
  • 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

  • 2. Nope, no more beer for me.

  • 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

  • 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

  • 5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.


  • New Alcohol Warning Labels:

    1. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

    2. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering - when you are not. (no, I KNOW I am loud when I am drunk!)

    3. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ( I actually dance better when I am drunk.)

    4. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. (Been there, done that!)

    5. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. (WE have me on video tape doing the rap from "!,2, Step" for Travis and I did that for j_brew when he was here visiting!

    6. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 a.m.

    7. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. (No, I know I don't make any sense when I am drunk!)

    8. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. (I am a happy drunk and i don't start fights!)

    9. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

    10. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

    11. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    12. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invincible.



    Xposted to lushes_r_us
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